It was yet another day of school for the youn uns of Wackyland, people were just coming into the schoolyard, books in hand, to join the early risers. The Scrabbly Girls had already started their part time jobs at Bombdiggidy's, and their fame and bravery from Saturday was still being carried around the school. The girls were heroines in the eyes of their classmates and had even pushed Dujy out of her place as being most popular girl in the school. Everyone wanted to hang out with them.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRING!Went the bell, signalling the start of the school day. Most of the students started to make their way to the building.
"Yes, thank you, thank you, guys, but it was nothing really," Rosechan was saying to a group of dumbstruck students.
"Yeah, always glad to help!"said Alicechan with a grin. Everybody went to their classrooms.
Suddenly, the girls noticed some new kids. Well, one of them didnt even count as a kid, he was an Ali-Gator.
"Girls, meet your new classmates,"said our class teacher.
"Were the Garbage Pail Kids!" they all said together.
"Hi guys, lovely to meet you!"said the scrabbly girls."I know you guys!Messie Tessie, Valerie Vomit, Greaser Greg, Foul Phil, Ali-Gator, Windy Winston and Nat Nerd!! Your trading cards and stickers are famous, and your cartoon series, and I must say I really loved your movie!!",gushed Rosechan, excited about being able to meet the Garbage Pail Kids, stars of the famous 80s trading cards and stickers which so many kids collected and stars of one of her favourite 80s kids movie.
"People think were ugly" said one of them, whose name was Messie Tessie.
"Youre not ugly,"said Alicechan.
"Yeah, you guys are just a little misunderstood by snobbish, snooty people. But we think youre cool, and we wanna hang out with you guys!"said Rosechan.
The Garbage Pail Kids were happy to hear that and began cheering. Afterwards, everybody sat down to have the register taken.
***********************************************************************************
"Oh no, seems we have Manuelies lesson now!"Rosechan groaned. Manuelie was the worst teacher of our school. Everybody was afraid of her. The reason was she was an overbearing, powerful, deadly strict baroness, who would find people's weaknesses and was just generally eveybodys worst nightmare. All trembled whenevr she walked past.
"Correction, Rosechan, its Free Choice!It means we get a choice between Manuelie's lesson..."
"And something even worse, like history,"interrupted Rosechan.
"Actually, sports!"finished Alicechan.
"Sports?!Oh no, man i hate sports, and im so out of shape at the moment,"Rosechan groaned.
"Well, its either that, or Manuelies lesson,"grinned Alicechan.
"Ok, i guess anything is better than Manuelies lesson, even if it is long work outs and playing sports im no good at.Lets go Alicechan!"Rosechan said.
A few minutes later, kids were in the changing rooms, getting changed for the sports lesson.
"Hey, where's the teacher?"asked Alicechan, as they all came out into the sports hall, dressed in shorts and basketball vests.
"Hello Kids, nice to see you all here. Now, please let me introduce your teacher for today, Stretch!" Suddenly, member of the ghostly trio and Casper's uncle Stretch, appeared in front of everybody.
"Hiya, fleshies! Its Stretc the stretch-meister here, and I will be gym instructor!"
"Hey Casper, I never knew your uncle was gym teacher,"said Alicechan to Casper.
"Our household has been a little low on money, and food lately,"said Casper embarassed.
"Um, Stretch, what are we gonna do in todays lesson?"asked a pink little skinny girl.
"Why, Stretching of course! To be able to win the basket-ball cometition, ya'll have to be able to stretch.Today Im gonna teach you young fleshies out there the techniques of the Stretch-meister. After today your stretching will never be the same again!Stretching is good for ya!"
"Hey, im not very tall, but i would really like to be able to reach to the top shelf to get to the cookie jar, would that help me?"asked a skinny little girl.
"You betcha it will! All this stretching is gonna help you short fleshies to reahc the highest points, not to mention it will prevent your skeleton from turning to jellyton!"
"Well, thats good enough for me, i wanna stretch!"said Rosechan and a lot of others joined in.
"Great!But, it could be kinda tricky for all you kids who have skin, but just pay attention and you will be stretching pretty soon!"
***********************************************************************************
An hour of stretching later, everybody was in pain and they all hurried to get out and eat lunch.
"Gosh, all that Stretching has sure made me hungry!"said Alicechan, exhausted.
"Yeah, ive stretched place of me I didnt even know I could stretch before,"panted Rosechan. It had all been hard work, but it had been worth it.
Once in the cafeteria, the girls threw themselves at the stalls of food, getting tripple helpings and even starting to stuff themselves before they had a chance to pay and sit down.
"Hey girls, be careful, you really shouldnt stuff your faces like that, you should calm down and eat slowly, so you can get the maximum nourishment from your food. Also, you could choke", advised the lunch lady.
The girls sat down and were enjoying their mountains of food, which looked like pigsties:slices of pizza, spaghetti, hamburgers, fresh veggies, fries, corn hot dogs, dougnuts, yu name it. The girls were enjoying their lunch, until the dude with the tude Mr D, came up to their table.
"Hi Rosa!Hi Alice!"he smiled at them. They smiled back and gestured for him to join them.
"Hi, and by the way, its Alicechan and Rosechan!"corrected Rosechan.
"Chan?!What the hell, whats with those names?? Dont you girls know anything about history?"
"Yes, we do, and as a matter of fact, we like everybody from everywhere, regardless of their history, just as long as theyre good people!"retorted Alicechan.
"They never have been and never will be good, never forget that!"
"And youre a racist idiot!"cried Rosechan angrily.
"Although we like everybody, we don't like your type!"said Alicechan.
"You racist freak has ruined our lunch!Come on Scrabbly Sista, lets get out of here!We can eat later,"said Rosechan disgustedly and left the lunch room, followed by Alicechan.
"Tht guy certainly has a tude," said Alicechan, once they were outside.
"Yeah, and hes just one of those prats who gets their kicks out of annoying/bullying others."added Rosechan.
"You know, we should really let a teacher know about him,"advised Alicechan.
"Thats a good idea, but what can they do? He wont listen to anyone, he always thinks hes right. Even if he met an alien or saw a ghost, he would still stay the same stuck up idiot....Wait, i got an idea!I know who can help us!" thought Rosechan.
15 minutes later, the scrabbly girls returned to the cafeteria where D was sitting,w ith Stretch following behind.
"So where is this fleshie scumbag?"asked Stretch.
"Here he is,"Alicechan lead him to the table.
"Say bone-bag, what d'you think youre doing?"
D looked up from his book."Ha!You lanky piece of trash, what the hell are you supposed to be?!"
"Hey!"yelled Stretch.
"This is Stretch, Casper's uncle."
"What the hell is Casper?"asked D.
"You mean you don't know?Everybody knows who Casper the friendly ghost is, everyone knows the movie,"said Rosechan.
"And even if you never heard of them, you mustve seen or heard of the comics and the 50'scartoon,"said Alicechan.
"No sorry, I dont watch crap like that." retorted D.
"Hey, watch it, Fleshbag, NOBODY disses our show!"yelled Stretch, getting angry.
"Ooh, what are you going to do about it you lanky paranormal phantom piece of menace?"Daniel turned to face Stretch (we now have proof that Mr D is indeed a Starwars nut). I dont believe in ghosts anyway, and you dont scare me at all, now f*** off!!"
"Alright, that does it!You asked for it!"Stretch had finally boiled over and was letting off steam. The two of them stood facing each other, glaring, just like 2 cowboys in a western. Before anybody knew it, there was aloud, horrible ghostly blast, and when everybody turned up, they saw D had jumped to the ceiling and was cowering in fright. Seems that Stretch had succeeded in scaring the pants of him. Stretch looked up and cackled his trademark cackle, admiring his latest work.
"And dont ever let me catch you terrorizing these kids again!"he yelled. Everybody in the cafeteria started cherring. "Allright!Uncle Stretch, youre the best!"cried Rosechan, "thanks a lot!Not only handsome, but a great guy!"
"Come on Stretch, let us buy you lunch!Said Alicechan.
"Hey, great!Bring on the food!"said Stretch with a grin on his face. and then, while everybody cheered, the scrabbly sistas took Stretch by the arms and the three of them went to get some lunch at Bombdiggidys. Gym lessons were back on in the afternoon for the upcoming inter-galactic basketball game, and Stretch proved to be the best coach ever.
Although it didnt really change Mr D that much, he was so shaken up after Stretch;s shout that he couldnt get out of bed at least for a whole week. From what everybody heard, he had barricaed himself in his room and had all his meals there, refusing to come to school and trying to contact a lawyer to sue the ghost who had bullied him so much. How ironic!
*Commercials*
"Hello, Jeffersons' Attourneys. Can I help you?
"Hello, this is Mr D speaking. I would like to hire one of your attourneys."
"Ok mr D, what time?"
"Um, as soon as possible, tomorrow!"
"Mr D, im afraid all our attourneys are very busy right now-"
"This is very urgent!!!I'll pay double."
"Mr D!Im afraid we cant help you now. The earliest would be next monday."
"What!!But i need an attourney right now!!I cant wait until next week!"
"Its either next week or next month im afraid. Its your choice." There were a few minutes pause on the other end as D thought for while. "Mr Song are you still there?"
"Eh, yes. Alright, next monday will have to do then. My address is 0 Orange street, flat 0ZA2, 555555." Number: 0789123%
"Alright mr Song, we will have an attourney sent out to you, next monday at 9:00am.
"Great. Thanks a lot." D hung up and went back to his desk and got out a heavy book of chinese grammar. For the past week D had calmed down a little and could leave his house, but he still refused to come to school and had instead taken to home schooling. "Who needs to go to that crap hole Wacky High anyway, filled with stupid wacky kids."thought D Seems he never did like Wacky High but had no choice.
***********************************************************************************
A few days later, D was given a call from Jefferson's attourney.
"Hello, mr D? This is mr. Jefferson of Jefferson's attourney. You called about an attourney?"
"Yes, that was me. So what time are you coming over on Monday then?"
"Mr Song, before we make an appointment-"
"What!you mean you havent made an appointment for monday yet?!What am i paying you wankers for?" D totaly lost is cool.
"Actually, youre not paying us anything right now mr Song. Anyway, before we make any kind of appointment, we have to do a routine check up. First of all, please give us some details about the case. First, what accusation are you making, and whom?"
"Ok. School bullying, by a teacher-he's a gym teacher named Stretch, i think, its kind of difficult to describe him, you wont believe me."
"Go ahead."
"His name is Stretch and he's a ghost-"
"Er, Im sorry Sir, you didn't just say "ghost", did you?
"Yes, it sounds crazy but its true. I'm not making it up. I want him out of the living world, send him back to the dead!"
"Sir, that changes matters entirely."
"What?"
"According to the Wacky land Legal System, sector X paragraph 30, line 5, "the dead can't be sued."I'm sure you are aware of that."
"WHAT??!" D then cursed himself, for having mentioned the ghost part at all.
"Mr Song, the court-case will proceed anyhow,"
"It will?"said D relieved, hoping they would do a one off specially for him, just this once.
"Yes indeed. Even though you can't sue the dead, you have to pay them compensation, also to any other members of his family, dead or alive."
**********************************************************************************
"Hey, did you hear about the Dee case?"asked Rosechan
"Yes, i heard he didnt come to school for a long time. Something about sewing Stretch,"said Alicechan.
"Yeah, i cant believe that he was gonna sue a ghost!I mean, how stupid is that?"said Trishy.
"Here it is, in the morning Paper. "Ghost Court Case fails." I was actually worried, seems D had all the means to sew him, except for one thing: he forgot that Stretch is a ghost."
"And according to law, the dead can't be sued, right?"asked Alicechan.
"Yes. But heres the irony: It was he who had to pay Stretch compensation.“
" Yeah, thats right; according to law, you can't sue the dead, but you have to pay them compensation,"said Malte, whos father is a lawyer "The odds were against him. He's lost his family a lot of cash."
"Well, he was asking for it. D is not an easy guy, it felt nice to actually see him being put in his place,"said James.
"Do you think he'll change after this?"asked Malte.
"If he did, it would be a miracle." said Rosechan.
"I can't wait for that day to happen,"added Alicechan. It was a week after the whole Debacle, which had become the latest news for the kids of Wacky High, the Scrabbly Sister Heroines quickly forgotten. The kids were sitting in the school yard, waiting for the bell for afternoon class to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment